1 00:00:05,258 --> 00:00:07,936 In my younger and more vulnerable years, 2 00:00:07,961 --> 00:00:10,095 my father gave me some advice. 3 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:12,317 He said, "The laziest way to tell a story 4 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:15,145 is through voice-over narration." 5 00:00:15,185 --> 00:00:18,286 With that in mind, I tell the tale of the tragic collision 6 00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,688 between the last tycoon of the Jazz Age 7 00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:24,125 and the king of a hip-hop empire. 8 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,326 It began with an old man 9 00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:28,195 feeling like his best years had passed him by. 10 00:00:29,865 --> 00:00:31,165 You seem glum, sir. 11 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,633 How about a blood transfusion? 12 00:00:32,668 --> 00:00:34,368 We have some new small batch, 13 00:00:34,404 --> 00:00:35,636 single donor plasmas. 14 00:00:35,671 --> 00:00:37,638 Mmm. Better make it a double. 15 00:00:37,673 --> 00:00:42,075 My life used to be so lively, so full of excitement. 16 00:00:44,679 --> 00:00:46,012 ♪ Monty! ♪ 17 00:00:46,048 --> 00:00:48,648 Such shindigs I threw at my summer estate. 18 00:00:48,683 --> 00:00:51,017 In an age of shameful excess, 19 00:00:51,053 --> 00:00:54,354 my parties were legendary for their magnificent excess. 20 00:00:54,389 --> 00:00:56,956 Fortunes were won and lost at my tables. 21 00:00:56,991 --> 00:00:59,358 Affairs were launched on my dance floor 22 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,160 and consummated on my floor-floor. 23 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,196 Sultans mingled with Sultans of Swat. 24 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,897 ♪ Monty! ♪ 25 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,801 And presiding over it all was me, 26 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,037 Monogram Monty Burns. 27 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,540 Well... 28 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:19,243 what if we throw a classic shindig 29 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,212 at your old summer place? 30 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,380 Why, yes. 31 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,115 A beachside bacchanal 32 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,916 just like the Roaring Twenties. 33 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,252 That'll put the Cole back in my Porter. 34 00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:30,721 What fun. 35 00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:32,489 Now, I have 45 close friends 36 00:01:32,524 --> 00:01:34,624 who are all pretty amazing party planners. 37 00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:35,825 I'm not squandering money 38 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:38,295 on some chap to bring in a photo booth. 39 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,464 I'll take care of every detail myself. 40 00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:41,565 Everything, sir? 41 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,500 Oh, fine. You can fetch the ice. 42 00:01:43,535 --> 00:01:45,402 Okay. How many bags? 43 00:01:45,437 --> 00:01:48,305 Oh, no. None of those pricey store-bought cubes. 44 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,506 Now, you head up to Northern Canada 45 00:01:50,541 --> 00:01:52,674 and get me a quarter ton of lake ice. 46 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,910 Hand-sawn and tong-carried. 47 00:01:54,945 --> 00:01:56,945 Risk my life in the arctic wilderness 48 00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:58,481 just to bring you some ice. 49 00:01:58,516 --> 00:02:00,649 It would be an honor. 50 00:02:00,684 --> 00:02:02,985 Would you like it packed in cedar sawdust or Spanish oak? 51 00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,387 Oh, who cares? Ice is ice. 52 00:02:05,423 --> 00:02:07,489 It says Mega Stuf on the package, 53 00:02:07,524 --> 00:02:09,757 but these are Double Stuf at best. 54 00:02:09,792 --> 00:02:11,493 What? 55 00:02:11,528 --> 00:02:14,629 Send me a free tub of Stuf and I'll shut down my Web site. 56 00:02:14,664 --> 00:02:16,331 Mmm. 57 00:02:16,366 --> 00:02:18,899 Simpson, you seem fairly popular, 58 00:02:18,935 --> 00:02:21,336 at least based on the cheers you got at employee karaoke night. 59 00:02:21,371 --> 00:02:24,471 It's not me, it's "Mustang Sally." 60 00:02:24,507 --> 00:02:26,240 Mr. Burns is throwing a little party, 61 00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:29,976 and most of his invitees are either dead or fictional. 62 00:02:30,012 --> 00:02:31,778 Uh, to, uh, well, fill out the crowd, 63 00:02:31,813 --> 00:02:34,014 uh, perhaps you could, uh, distribute these invitations 64 00:02:34,049 --> 00:02:36,450 to your more, uh, presentable friends. 65 00:02:36,485 --> 00:02:38,952 I know just who to invite. 66 00:02:38,987 --> 00:02:40,620 - You're not invited. - To what? 67 00:02:40,655 --> 00:02:43,556 None of your business! 68 00:02:43,591 --> 00:02:45,358 All right. 69 00:02:45,393 --> 00:02:47,360 "Your esteemed presence is requested 70 00:02:47,395 --> 00:02:49,828 "for an evening of madcap magic and mischief 71 00:02:49,864 --> 00:02:52,565 at Monty Burns' Middle Hampton estate." 72 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,535 The card stock is so thick. 73 00:02:55,570 --> 00:02:58,370 Bart, get in here and feel this stock. 74 00:02:58,405 --> 00:03:01,339 Oh, man, that's heavy. 75 00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:02,774 The Springfield Hamptons? 76 00:03:02,809 --> 00:03:04,476 That's on Lengthy Island, 77 00:03:04,511 --> 00:03:07,179 where rich people hang out on summer weekends. 78 00:03:07,214 --> 00:03:11,349 I know all about it from cartoons in literary magazines. 79 00:03:11,385 --> 00:03:14,018 I'm not reading all that. 80 00:03:14,054 --> 00:03:16,220 Well, now to select the perfect guest list 81 00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:19,990 of our city's sharpest wits and glittering socialites. 82 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:31,201 Boy oh boy, a '20s shindig at Old Man Burnsie's. 83 00:03:31,236 --> 00:03:33,236 Probably gonna be bathtubs full of shrimp 84 00:03:33,271 --> 00:03:35,071 and Jacuzzis full of brisket. 85 00:03:35,106 --> 00:03:38,374 Maybe I'll meet a rich bachelor who will sweep me off my feet. 86 00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:40,276 How do I smell? 87 00:03:40,312 --> 00:03:43,446 Like a wood fire put out by dumping coffee on it. 88 00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:45,281 Oh! Perfect. 89 00:03:45,317 --> 00:03:46,382 Hey, everyone, hey! 90 00:03:46,418 --> 00:03:48,350 I'm off-duty, so please 91 00:03:48,385 --> 00:03:50,419 don't feel weird doing drugs in front of me. 92 00:03:50,454 --> 00:03:52,254 Uh, or with me. 93 00:03:52,289 --> 00:03:54,289 I became a cop too young. 94 00:03:54,325 --> 00:03:55,757 I never lived. 95 00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:57,593 I didn't live. 96 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,428 And so I entered a world of wealth. 97 00:03:59,463 --> 00:04:00,829 Where mansions are called "cottages." 98 00:04:00,864 --> 00:04:02,497 And getting drunk on a boat 99 00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,899 is called "sailing." 100 00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:13,107 Get ready for fancy. 101 00:04:19,582 --> 00:04:21,081 I don't see any magic. 102 00:04:21,117 --> 00:04:22,949 And not a hint of mischief. 103 00:04:22,984 --> 00:04:24,451 Off-brand Ritz cracker? 104 00:04:24,486 --> 00:04:25,752 Salt pile? 105 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,420 Nothing in a blanket? 106 00:04:27,456 --> 00:04:30,290 Dad, did Mr. Burns cheap out? 107 00:04:30,325 --> 00:04:31,658 That's impossible. 108 00:04:31,693 --> 00:04:33,826 He's the richest man in town. 109 00:04:33,862 --> 00:04:35,928 If I had known this was a cash bar, 110 00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:39,065 I would've gotten wasted beforehand! 111 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,733 At my sister's house! 112 00:04:44,338 --> 00:04:45,771 Welcome, honored guests. 113 00:04:45,806 --> 00:04:48,140 Leave your inhibitions at the door. 114 00:04:48,175 --> 00:04:49,708 And write your name on your drink cup, 115 00:04:49,744 --> 00:04:51,176 you will not receive a second. 116 00:04:53,414 --> 00:04:57,282 Now, dance the night away on my vintage 1920s parquet floor. 117 00:04:57,317 --> 00:04:58,883 The cleaning of which is not cheap, 118 00:04:58,918 --> 00:05:01,319 so be sure to don your protective booties. 119 00:05:05,592 --> 00:05:07,057 Look, Mr. Burns, 120 00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:09,560 nobody loves a party with rules more than I do. 121 00:05:09,596 --> 00:05:12,129 Even I'm baffled by the toilet payment system. 122 00:05:12,165 --> 00:05:14,298 Oh, it's simple, bring the chit from the applicable restroom 123 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:15,965 to the purser... 124 00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:18,769 You might've been fun a hundred years ago, Burnsie, 125 00:05:18,804 --> 00:05:20,504 but now you're a cheap, old lamewad. 126 00:05:20,539 --> 00:05:23,440 And trust me, I know cheap. 127 00:05:23,475 --> 00:05:25,275 That's right, I bought a suit, 128 00:05:25,311 --> 00:05:27,844 Xeroxed it, returned it, and wore the copy. 129 00:05:30,015 --> 00:05:32,615 - Waste of my time. - Why is everyone leaving? 130 00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:34,450 Of course, no ice. 131 00:05:34,485 --> 00:05:36,352 Mm, that lazy Smithers is probably 132 00:05:36,387 --> 00:05:38,321 sipping hot buttered rum in a ski chalet 133 00:05:38,356 --> 00:05:40,222 overlooking Lake Louise. 134 00:05:45,363 --> 00:05:47,962 Ah. 135 00:05:47,997 --> 00:05:50,264 Uh-oh. 136 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,066 Aw. 137 00:05:59,749 --> 00:06:02,310 Hey, Mr. Burns, fun party. 138 00:06:02,346 --> 00:06:04,978 No one felt any pressure to talk or laugh 139 00:06:05,013 --> 00:06:06,814 or stay past 7:30. 140 00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:08,114 Super chill. 141 00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,451 Oh, hush. I'm a worn-out old miser 142 00:06:10,486 --> 00:06:13,387 who's forgotten the meaning of fun. 143 00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:16,623 Great Gatsby! 144 00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:18,325 What is that? 145 00:06:20,429 --> 00:06:22,729 Someone else is having a party across the bay. 146 00:06:22,764 --> 00:06:24,530 Once I would've thought nothing 147 00:06:24,566 --> 00:06:27,032 of rowing across the water and crashing that party. 148 00:06:27,068 --> 00:06:29,335 All doors would open for Monogram Monty. 149 00:06:29,371 --> 00:06:31,371 That was a long time ago. 150 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:34,940 Aw, I'll row you over. 151 00:06:34,976 --> 00:06:36,442 How hard could it be? 152 00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:39,611 Oh, so hard. 153 00:06:39,646 --> 00:06:40,912 Would it help if I whipped you? 154 00:06:40,947 --> 00:06:42,280 Maybe. 155 00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:43,615 Yeah, a little. 156 00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:45,684 Yeah, yeah. 157 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,920 Yeah. 158 00:06:51,258 --> 00:06:53,258 ♪ ♪ 159 00:06:55,495 --> 00:06:57,461 Whoa, it's a white party. 160 00:06:57,497 --> 00:06:59,497 Just the kind I used to throw. 161 00:06:59,532 --> 00:07:01,365 Although we interpreted the theme a bit differently 162 00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:02,900 in those days. 163 00:07:02,935 --> 00:07:04,268 ♪ Aah! ♪ 164 00:07:04,303 --> 00:07:06,904 ♪ Got a whole lot of money, got a whole lot of money... ♪ 165 00:07:06,939 --> 00:07:09,540 Mm, whoever is throwing this magnificent to-do 166 00:07:09,575 --> 00:07:12,009 knows how to enjoy their wealth. 167 00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:13,342 ♪ Got a whole lot of money ♪ 168 00:07:13,378 --> 00:07:16,212 Ooh, excessive. 169 00:07:16,247 --> 00:07:18,347 Tell me, where can I find our host? 170 00:07:18,383 --> 00:07:19,716 I haven't met him. 171 00:07:19,751 --> 00:07:21,885 No one has ever met him. 172 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,252 He doesn't exist. 173 00:07:23,288 --> 00:07:24,754 Oh, he's upstairs in his office. 174 00:07:24,790 --> 00:07:27,390 ♪ ♪ 175 00:07:29,327 --> 00:07:31,126 Ooh. 176 00:07:31,161 --> 00:07:34,396 Are you the host of this incredible soiree? 177 00:07:34,432 --> 00:07:36,498 I must tell you, it's the most incandescent, 178 00:07:36,534 --> 00:07:37,800 most dazzling... 179 00:07:37,835 --> 00:07:39,468 My name is Jay G. 180 00:07:39,503 --> 00:07:41,603 And nobody crashes my party. 181 00:07:41,639 --> 00:07:44,339 Not even you nobodies. 182 00:07:45,709 --> 00:07:47,308 Let's go, Mr. Burns. 183 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:48,776 What did you say? 184 00:07:48,812 --> 00:07:50,812 Mr. Burns and I were just leaving. 185 00:07:50,847 --> 00:07:54,782 Are you Montgomery Burns, the despised billionaire? 186 00:07:54,818 --> 00:07:57,017 Well, that's what my cuff links say. 187 00:07:57,053 --> 00:08:00,455 There's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time, 188 00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:02,423 you ruthless monster. 189 00:08:03,647 --> 00:08:06,481 I love you. 190 00:08:09,443 --> 00:08:13,092 I can't believe I'm meeting the Monty Burns. 191 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:14,917 How do you know me? 192 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:18,086 You're the dude who wrote The Rungs of Ruthlessness. 193 00:08:18,121 --> 00:08:20,889 Yes, back then they'd give a book contract 194 00:08:20,924 --> 00:08:24,426 to any CEO with a power tie and a bonsai tree. 195 00:08:24,461 --> 00:08:26,060 When I was a boy, I found a copy 196 00:08:26,096 --> 00:08:27,896 left on the seat of a bus I stole. 197 00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:31,466 And after I read it, I knew I'd jacked my last courtesy shuttle. 198 00:08:31,502 --> 00:08:34,068 Your book became my bible. 199 00:08:34,104 --> 00:08:36,304 "Every empire needs an emblem." 200 00:08:36,339 --> 00:08:38,472 See? There you told me to find a symbol 201 00:08:38,508 --> 00:08:39,940 to represent my brand. 202 00:08:39,975 --> 00:08:44,445 And there he is, the living logo of Golden Goose Records, 203 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,480 Goosius. 204 00:08:46,516 --> 00:08:49,850 You make me believe I can fly. 205 00:08:49,885 --> 00:08:51,751 Goosius is on everything 206 00:08:51,787 --> 00:08:53,486 from my cognac-flavored vodka 207 00:08:53,522 --> 00:08:56,323 to the brake pads I coproduced with Lil Wayne. 208 00:08:58,593 --> 00:09:01,561 Aw, he eats the same way I do, 209 00:09:01,596 --> 00:09:03,262 without swallowing. 210 00:09:03,298 --> 00:09:06,566 You've flown south for the winter with my heart. 211 00:09:06,601 --> 00:09:07,667 Ow! 212 00:09:07,703 --> 00:09:10,669 I hope this bite never heals. 213 00:09:10,705 --> 00:09:12,471 When I wrote an advice book, I never dreamed 214 00:09:12,506 --> 00:09:14,005 it would help anyone. 215 00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:17,175 Everything I am I owe to you. 216 00:09:18,646 --> 00:09:19,778 And a little bit to Baz Luhrmann. 217 00:09:19,814 --> 00:09:22,614 ♪ When I was born, our cupboards were barren ♪ 218 00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:25,283 ♪ Now I'm inside of a blue McLaren ♪ 219 00:09:25,319 --> 00:09:26,283 ♪ Blue McLaren? ♪ 220 00:09:26,319 --> 00:09:27,485 ♪ They all be starin' 'cause ♪ 221 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:28,453 ♪ He's a hip-hop Vanderbilt ♪ 222 00:09:28,488 --> 00:09:29,821 ♪ I'm so established ♪ 223 00:09:29,856 --> 00:09:31,589 - ♪ My life is fabulous ♪ - ♪ Sugar trust. ♪ 224 00:09:31,624 --> 00:09:33,624 ♪ ♪ 225 00:09:35,528 --> 00:09:38,963 This. This is what I thought I'd never have again. 226 00:09:38,998 --> 00:09:41,131 Well, then good news, Monty. 227 00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,567 This is your party. 228 00:09:46,605 --> 00:09:49,740 And so was forged the most unlikely of friendships. 229 00:09:49,775 --> 00:09:51,908 A man who discovered Rick Ross 230 00:09:51,943 --> 00:09:54,911 and a man who dated Betsy Ross. 231 00:09:54,946 --> 00:09:58,047 The next day, my family explored Middle Hampton. 232 00:09:58,083 --> 00:09:59,849 A wonderland of boutiques 233 00:09:59,884 --> 00:10:01,484 paid for by rich husbands 234 00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:03,652 wanting to keep their wives busy. 235 00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:05,388 Mainly second wives. 236 00:10:05,423 --> 00:10:08,824 ♪ Hampton, ah, Hampton. ♪ 237 00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:11,494 What kind of crazy flavors are these? 238 00:10:11,529 --> 00:10:13,028 Quince jelly and pepper? 239 00:10:13,063 --> 00:10:14,363 Market greens? 240 00:10:14,399 --> 00:10:15,598 Bone broth brittle? 241 00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:17,432 I don't know what this place hates more, 242 00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,767 kids or ice cream. 243 00:10:18,802 --> 00:10:21,202 Really, man, a 3 Series? 244 00:10:21,237 --> 00:10:22,470 I mean, what is he? 245 00:10:22,506 --> 00:10:23,805 A sophomore at Exeter? 246 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,073 Yeah, one cup of salted caramel. 247 00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:28,976 Woo-woo-woo, scoop with the stripe, stupid. 248 00:10:29,012 --> 00:10:30,278 I mean... 249 00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:31,946 That kid just cut in line. 250 00:10:31,981 --> 00:10:33,747 Are you gonna let him do that? 251 00:10:33,783 --> 00:10:35,582 That's Blake Black. 252 00:10:35,618 --> 00:10:37,150 His dad runs BlackLake Investments. 253 00:10:37,185 --> 00:10:38,452 So? 254 00:10:38,487 --> 00:10:40,421 Richest dad rules? 255 00:10:40,456 --> 00:10:41,655 Everyone knows that. 256 00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:43,390 Well, I don't. 257 00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:44,458 Don't misunderstand me, 258 00:10:44,493 --> 00:10:47,294 Mats Wilander may have been a decent player, 259 00:10:47,329 --> 00:10:50,663 but until his inglés gets just a little bit better, 260 00:10:50,698 --> 00:10:52,197 he can coach somebody else. 261 00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,299 Pardon me a second. 262 00:10:53,334 --> 00:10:55,301 What is it, head points, what? 263 00:10:55,336 --> 00:10:57,102 Just because your father has money 264 00:10:57,138 --> 00:10:58,871 doesn't mean you can cut. 265 00:10:58,907 --> 00:11:01,474 Hmm, it kind of looks like it does. 266 00:11:01,509 --> 00:11:02,642 All right, I'll tell you what: 267 00:11:02,677 --> 00:11:04,076 because I am a nice guy, 268 00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:06,813 I am going to pay for everyone's cones. 269 00:11:06,848 --> 00:11:09,414 Is that okay? Does that make it okay? 270 00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:10,649 - Yeah! - Yes! 271 00:11:10,684 --> 00:11:11,716 No! 272 00:11:11,752 --> 00:11:13,418 I would never accept ice cream 273 00:11:13,454 --> 00:11:16,588 from someone whose manners are in the bottom one percent! 274 00:11:17,958 --> 00:11:19,324 Boom. 275 00:11:20,393 --> 00:11:21,827 So, hey, hi. 276 00:11:21,862 --> 00:11:23,328 Are you going to the Allens' 277 00:11:23,363 --> 00:11:24,695 hot-dog-and-horseshoes thing later? 278 00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:25,696 No. 279 00:11:25,731 --> 00:11:27,798 The Forstmans' firefly thing? 280 00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:28,799 No. 281 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:30,668 The Olins' jellyfish fry thing? 282 00:11:30,703 --> 00:11:33,270 I'm not going to any things at all! 283 00:11:33,305 --> 00:11:36,674 But I want to, um, hang out. 284 00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:38,208 What? Why? 285 00:11:38,243 --> 00:11:40,277 I've never met anyone like you before. 286 00:11:40,312 --> 00:11:42,645 Anyone with, you know, I don't know, um, 287 00:11:42,681 --> 00:11:43,880 morals. 288 00:11:43,915 --> 00:11:45,314 Oh. 289 00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:47,517 Well, I guess it is a little judgy of me 290 00:11:47,552 --> 00:11:50,453 to be completely disgusted by you. 291 00:11:50,489 --> 00:11:52,755 Great, I'll set something up. Erin, are you on? 292 00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:55,725 Okay, I need to bail on the Kravises' freeze tag thing. 293 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,560 No, I know, I have to. 294 00:11:57,596 --> 00:11:59,361 Send the big basket. 295 00:11:59,396 --> 00:12:00,696 What's wrong, honey? 296 00:12:00,731 --> 00:12:02,430 Lisa's got a rich boyfriend, 297 00:12:02,466 --> 00:12:04,766 Dad's hanging out with a hip-hop super producer, 298 00:12:04,802 --> 00:12:06,334 and I'm stuck window-shopping 299 00:12:06,370 --> 00:12:09,137 with you two fun-sucking stink buckets. 300 00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:10,372 It's not fair! 301 00:12:10,407 --> 00:12:12,173 Life's not fair, kid. 302 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,375 Do I know you? 303 00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:15,643 If life was fair, you would know me. 304 00:12:15,678 --> 00:12:18,312 But know this: Jay G ain't all that. 305 00:12:18,347 --> 00:12:19,179 What do you mean? 306 00:12:19,215 --> 00:12:20,848 Buy a candle and I'll tell you. 307 00:12:20,884 --> 00:12:22,349 What's your cheapest one? 308 00:12:22,385 --> 00:12:23,885 $55. 309 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,421 No way. I could start a fire in the woods for nothing. 310 00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:30,424 So Bart met someone who I think comes back later. 311 00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,092 I forget why. 312 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:35,194 Hmm. Who would have thought two billionaire Republicans 313 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:37,764 from such different backgrounds could end up as chums? 314 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,001 Is not green a more powerful color than black or white? 315 00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:44,004 The Lord picks a select few to accumulate more money 316 00:12:44,039 --> 00:12:45,405 than anyone else. 317 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,707 You and I bear that sacred avarice. 318 00:12:47,743 --> 00:12:50,776 Each of my enterprises has its own G6. 319 00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,411 What's that one? 320 00:12:52,446 --> 00:12:54,613 That's for my... 321 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,515 personal horticulturalist. 322 00:12:56,551 --> 00:12:58,250 You know what I'm sayin'? 323 00:12:58,285 --> 00:12:59,585 I don't. 324 00:13:09,863 --> 00:13:11,529 You seem to get so much joy 325 00:13:11,565 --> 00:13:13,598 out of your money. I envy you. 326 00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:15,934 You've given me so much, Monty. 327 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:19,704 Let me give you something back: the freedom to live large. 328 00:13:21,708 --> 00:13:23,574 A charge plate? 329 00:13:23,609 --> 00:13:26,677 I've never had one of those newfangled swipe-a-ma-jigs. 330 00:13:26,712 --> 00:13:29,846 It's an Obsidian Card, the most exclusive. 331 00:13:29,882 --> 00:13:32,716 No spending limit, no store has ever heard of it. 332 00:13:32,751 --> 00:13:34,651 But they have to accept it. 333 00:13:34,687 --> 00:13:37,153 Take it if you want to roll like G. 334 00:13:39,658 --> 00:13:40,590 Don't forget to sign it. 335 00:13:40,625 --> 00:13:41,791 Oh, right. 336 00:13:41,826 --> 00:13:44,660 No, no, not a felt-tip. Oh! It'll smudge. 337 00:13:44,696 --> 00:13:46,462 Okay, quick, blow on it to dry the ink. 338 00:13:52,937 --> 00:13:55,905 Blake, I have to say, this whale watch 339 00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,707 was a very thoughtful idea. 340 00:13:58,742 --> 00:14:02,343 Oh, it's a whole family. 341 00:14:02,378 --> 00:14:04,012 But they're so far away. 342 00:14:04,047 --> 00:14:06,915 Far? Babe, when you whale watch with me, 343 00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:08,483 you sit pod-side. 344 00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:10,952 Fellas! What can we do here? 345 00:14:11,989 --> 00:14:15,756 This way, the whales know we are VIPs. 346 00:14:15,791 --> 00:14:17,491 Um, where's the baby? 347 00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:18,592 There's supposed to be a baby. 348 00:14:18,628 --> 00:14:20,327 I paid for a calf. 349 00:14:20,362 --> 00:14:22,496 Does that mean anything? 350 00:14:22,531 --> 00:14:25,833 Whale-copters? VIP pod-view? 351 00:14:25,868 --> 00:14:27,501 This is awful! 352 00:14:27,536 --> 00:14:30,237 Well, if we went on some lame econo-watch, 353 00:14:30,272 --> 00:14:32,304 we might not see blowhole one. 354 00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:33,640 I mean, what are you saying? 355 00:14:33,675 --> 00:14:34,841 Are you hearing yourself? 356 00:14:34,876 --> 00:14:37,443 Blake, I really believed you could change. 357 00:14:37,478 --> 00:14:40,312 And you did, you became even more horrible. 358 00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:47,720 These aren't VIP emotions. 359 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:48,787 This is worse than the time 360 00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:51,356 I had to eat grocery store sushi. 361 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,192 The shiso leaf was plastic! 362 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,694 It was plastic! 363 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,329 You got to buy it, M.B., it's fate. 364 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,101 Oh, I don't know. 365 00:15:03,137 --> 00:15:05,903 $100,000 feels like a lot of money. 366 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,571 You've got to splash the cash, 367 00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:09,674 fling the bling, spill them bills. 368 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,442 It don't matter, just splatter the batter. 369 00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,679 Splash the cash. 370 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:21,218 Monogram Monty is back! 371 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,986 ♪ I got a whole lot of money ♪ 372 00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:24,487 ♪ A whole lot of money ♪ 373 00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:25,889 - ♪ What you want? ♪ - ♪ A whole lot of money ♪ 374 00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:27,390 - ♪ I got ♪ - ♪ A who-whole lot of money ♪ 375 00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:28,391 ♪ How much? ♪ 376 00:15:28,426 --> 00:15:29,693 ♪ A whole lot of money ♪ 377 00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:30,727 ♪ Whole lot ♪ 378 00:15:30,762 --> 00:15:32,028 - ♪ What's up? ♪ - ♪ Over here ♪ 379 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,029 - ♪ What's up? ♪ - ♪ Over there ♪ 380 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:38,968 ♪ I got a whole lot of money ♪ 381 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,502 ♪ A whole lot of money ♪ 382 00:15:40,537 --> 00:15:42,137 - ♪ What you want? ♪ - ♪ A whole lot of money ♪ 383 00:15:42,173 --> 00:15:44,339 ♪ I got it ♪ 384 00:15:44,374 --> 00:15:45,908 ♪ When the night come on ♪ 385 00:15:45,943 --> 00:15:49,111 ♪ I already know what time it is ♪ 386 00:15:49,146 --> 00:15:50,312 ♪ She gon' drop. ♪ 387 00:15:51,749 --> 00:15:54,016 Now, what are you generous folks willing to pay 388 00:15:54,051 --> 00:15:56,418 for a basketball lesson with Charles Barkley? 389 00:15:56,453 --> 00:15:57,418 $10,000. 390 00:15:57,453 --> 00:15:58,720 $20,000. $30,000. 391 00:15:58,755 --> 00:16:00,021 Do I hear $50,000? 392 00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:02,656 $1 million. 393 00:16:02,692 --> 00:16:05,359 M.B., if you could only feel what I feel right now... 394 00:16:05,394 --> 00:16:08,362 $1 million, going once, going twice... 395 00:16:08,397 --> 00:16:09,563 $10 million! 396 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,465 Sold! 397 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,400 I just spent more money than I know 398 00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:15,001 on something I don't even want. 399 00:16:15,037 --> 00:16:17,337 And it's the greatest feeling I've ever had! 400 00:16:21,017 --> 00:16:22,602 Still better than Shaq. 401 00:16:23,587 --> 00:16:26,406 Mr. Burns was living the highlight. 402 00:16:26,431 --> 00:16:29,799 splurging on every luxury, even the ultimate indulgence... 403 00:16:30,173 --> 00:16:33,274 useless hangers-on like me. 404 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,078 Noice. 405 00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:40,380 To think, all the years I wasted without a posse. 406 00:16:40,415 --> 00:16:42,082 Good-bye, loneliness. 407 00:16:42,117 --> 00:16:43,416 We get all this stuff 408 00:16:43,451 --> 00:16:45,485 just for letting Mr. Burns beat us in mini golf. 409 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,953 What a deal! 410 00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:49,422 My whole job is to not make eye contact with him. 411 00:16:52,527 --> 00:16:54,594 I thought I'd get tired of window-shopping 412 00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:57,696 in this fancy little town, but it ain't happening. 413 00:16:57,731 --> 00:17:00,966 A chessboard where the pieces are lipsticks! 414 00:17:05,006 --> 00:17:07,173 A horse show! 415 00:17:08,242 --> 00:17:10,910 A protest! 416 00:17:10,945 --> 00:17:12,444 Huh? 417 00:17:13,446 --> 00:17:14,979 Blake, is that you? 418 00:17:15,015 --> 00:17:16,480 What happened to your privilege? 419 00:17:16,516 --> 00:17:17,715 I checked it. 420 00:17:18,751 --> 00:17:20,285 Lisa, when you rejected me, 421 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,021 I knew I had to do whatever it took 422 00:17:23,056 --> 00:17:24,355 to become worthy of you. 423 00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:27,625 This now runs on solar power and falafel. 424 00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:29,760 Now, that's sustainable! 425 00:17:29,796 --> 00:17:32,029 I've dedicated my entire allowance 426 00:17:32,064 --> 00:17:34,364 to Trustafarians for Horse Justice. 427 00:17:34,399 --> 00:17:36,633 Here's an upside down bucket for you to drum on. 428 00:17:36,668 --> 00:17:38,635 Well, what girl could say no 429 00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:41,371 to a socially conscious drum circle? 430 00:17:41,406 --> 00:17:42,639 Yo, lamp dress, 431 00:17:42,674 --> 00:17:45,809 I've got all access paddock passes to the horse show. 432 00:17:45,845 --> 00:17:48,377 Check out these sweet mane combs. 433 00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:50,713 I can get you up close to the horses 434 00:17:50,748 --> 00:17:53,316 for primo grooming time. 435 00:17:53,351 --> 00:17:54,951 Combing is murder! 436 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:57,019 Combing is murder! 437 00:17:57,055 --> 00:17:59,188 Primo grooming time. 438 00:17:59,224 --> 00:18:01,590 The test of a first-rate intelligence 439 00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,792 is the ability to hold two opposing ideas 440 00:18:03,828 --> 00:18:05,593 in the mind at the same time 441 00:18:05,628 --> 00:18:08,463 and still retain the ability to function. 442 00:18:08,498 --> 00:18:11,532 Horsey, horsey, horsey, horsey, horsey! 443 00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,839 For her, I gave up what meant most to me: 444 00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,640 being a douche. 445 00:18:25,581 --> 00:18:29,416 Mr. Burns, your bill came from the Obsidian Card. 446 00:18:29,451 --> 00:18:31,385 Are you sure you're not spending too much money? 447 00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:33,020 Hush, you sound like Smithers. 448 00:18:33,055 --> 00:18:35,422 Where is that loafer with my ice? 449 00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:52,872 Fill her up! 450 00:18:52,908 --> 00:18:54,073 And make it snappy. 451 00:18:54,109 --> 00:18:55,540 My best pal and I are going shopping 452 00:18:55,575 --> 00:18:57,809 for those yachts that have little submarines in them. 453 00:18:57,844 --> 00:19:00,012 Sir, your card was declined. 454 00:19:00,047 --> 00:19:01,313 Goulash! 455 00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:02,514 Absolute goulash! 456 00:19:02,549 --> 00:19:03,848 It's linked to my bank account. 457 00:19:03,884 --> 00:19:05,183 I'd have to be penniless 458 00:19:05,219 --> 00:19:06,518 before that card didn't work. 459 00:19:06,553 --> 00:19:09,321 Well, then that means you're broke. 460 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,488 Broke? 461 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:11,823 Me? 462 00:19:11,858 --> 00:19:14,091 Broke? Me? 463 00:19:14,127 --> 00:19:16,260 Yes, I'm afraid I have to destroy your card. 464 00:19:16,296 --> 00:19:18,495 Good luck. It's tempered titanium 465 00:19:18,531 --> 00:19:20,531 and coated with powdered diamond. 466 00:19:26,072 --> 00:19:28,039 ♪ I ain't got no money ♪ 467 00:19:28,074 --> 00:19:30,073 ♪ I ain't got no money. ♪ 468 00:19:32,644 --> 00:19:34,444 Don't take it. 469 00:19:34,479 --> 00:19:37,713 This car leased in someone else's name is who I am! 470 00:19:37,749 --> 00:19:41,084 My entire fortune, spent and gone. 471 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,553 I splashed all my cash. 472 00:19:43,588 --> 00:19:45,455 Don't be so hard on yourself. 473 00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:47,289 It was your first credit card. 474 00:19:47,325 --> 00:19:50,392 And I handled it as well as a freshman at Michigan State! 475 00:19:50,428 --> 00:19:54,163 Mr. Burns, I think Jay wanted you to bankrupt yourself. 476 00:19:54,198 --> 00:19:55,297 Why would you say such a thing? 477 00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:58,140 It's number one on the charts. 478 00:19:58,169 --> 00:19:59,651 ♪ ♪ 479 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,219 ♪ Used to be the man, Burns ♪ 480 00:20:01,244 --> 00:20:02,909 ♪ Now you just a bad joke ♪ 481 00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:04,431 ♪ Used to be about to die ♪ 482 00:20:04,456 --> 00:20:05,979 ♪ Now you only dead broke ♪ 483 00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,470 ♪ I gave you the card, Burns ♪ 484 00:20:07,495 --> 00:20:09,229 ♪ And you spent your mind out ♪ 485 00:20:09,254 --> 00:20:10,787 ♪ It was all a trap, yo ♪ 486 00:20:10,812 --> 00:20:12,463 ♪ As you 'bout to find out ♪ 487 00:20:12,582 --> 00:20:15,350 Jay G is CEO of Obsidian! 488 00:20:15,385 --> 00:20:18,073 Biotch! 489 00:20:18,098 --> 00:20:19,763 ♪ Now your bank account is withering ♪ 490 00:20:19,788 --> 00:20:21,354 ♪ Your bottom lip is quivering ♪ 491 00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:22,916 ♪ You're Hufflepuff, I'm Slytherin ♪ 492 00:20:22,941 --> 00:20:24,518 ♪ There's no one doin' your Smitherin' ♪ 493 00:20:24,936 --> 00:20:26,403 ♪ This is where your money went ♪ 494 00:20:26,428 --> 00:20:28,128 ♪ Evict you from the one percent ♪ 495 00:20:28,163 --> 00:20:30,130 ♪ Now watch me as my fingers tent ♪ 496 00:20:30,165 --> 00:20:32,499 ♪ 'Cause I own you, it is excellent ♪ 497 00:20:32,534 --> 00:20:34,901 ♪ Excellent ♪ 498 00:20:34,936 --> 00:20:38,337 ♪ You're broke now ♪ 499 00:20:38,373 --> 00:20:40,072 ♪ Your cash was your passion ♪ 500 00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:44,443 ♪ Now Jay owns your ass, son. ♪ 501 00:20:47,215 --> 00:20:49,382 If these rhymes are to be believed, 502 00:20:49,417 --> 00:20:52,418 Jay lured me into debt and now he owns everything. 503 00:20:52,453 --> 00:20:54,386 Even my beloved nuclear plant. 504 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,687 Our magical friendship was a sham! 505 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:58,789 The loneliest moment in someone's life 506 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,326 is when they're watching their whole world fall apart. 507 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:05,163 And all they can do is stare blankly. 508 00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:08,166 Oh, no, wait, he's crying now. That's worse. 509 00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:10,868 Now he's really sobbing heavy. 510 00:21:10,904 --> 00:21:14,371 Oh, now he's gone to his knees and he ripped his shirt open. 511 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,606 All of his buttons fell off of his shirt. 512 00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,675 Oh, now he's kicking his porch. 513 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,078 Oh, he hurt his foot and he's hopping around. 514 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,779 Oh, he tripped over a dog. 515 00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:27,051 That's way worse. 516 00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:31,153 Montgomery Burns had hit rock-bottom. 517 00:21:32,163 --> 00:21:34,461 F. Scott Fitzgerald onde wrote: 518 00:21:34,486 --> 00:21:36,883 "There are no second acts in American lives." 519 00:21:36,908 --> 00:21:39,041 But he never said anything about second parts 520 00:21:39,077 --> 00:21:41,177 in American TV shows. 521 00:21:41,403 --> 00:21:43,203 I should've seen it all coming. 522 00:21:43,228 --> 00:21:46,063 My eyes were clouded by the cataracts of excess. 523 00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,131 And by an excess of cataracts. 524 00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:50,132 Wait. What happened to my posse? 525 00:21:50,168 --> 00:21:54,002 Don't you worry. A posse's loyalty is forever. 526 00:21:54,038 --> 00:21:56,605 Hey, Burnsie, I didn't get any brand-new sneakers today. 527 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,241 I can't be wearing two-day-old sneakers. 528 00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:00,876 Hey, if there's no more money, we'll take 529 00:22:00,911 --> 00:22:02,511 our personalized bowling balls, 530 00:22:02,547 --> 00:22:05,047 fold-up bicycles, and go. 531 00:22:11,654 --> 00:22:14,189 I'm here for my hounds. 532 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,460 Huh! Preposterous. I raised those hounds from pups. 533 00:22:18,495 --> 00:22:20,462 I'm the only master they've ever known. 534 00:22:20,497 --> 00:22:22,964 One word from me and they'll rip you apart. 535 00:22:22,999 --> 00:22:24,098 Commence ripping! 536 00:22:28,670 --> 00:22:31,638 Dogs can smell power. 537 00:22:31,673 --> 00:22:34,341 Sign this release legally releasing the hounds. 538 00:22:34,376 --> 00:22:37,478 If you don't, Mr. Jay G will release the hounds. 539 00:22:41,016 --> 00:22:43,449 Jay, I don't understand. I thought we were friends. 540 00:22:43,485 --> 00:22:46,085 We were going to open up a money-losing winery together. 541 00:22:46,121 --> 00:22:49,155 We can still hang out. Even though our owners are fighting. 542 00:22:50,225 --> 00:22:53,058 Not being bitten... 543 00:22:53,094 --> 00:22:54,994 hurts the most. 544 00:22:57,132 --> 00:22:59,564 Everyone's gone. Even Smithers never bothered 545 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,334 to return from Canada with my lake ice. 546 00:23:19,118 --> 00:23:22,085 Good Simpson. Faithful Simpson. 547 00:23:22,121 --> 00:23:23,787 You would never go back to the nuclear plant 548 00:23:23,822 --> 00:23:25,389 that was so cruelly taken from me. 549 00:23:28,194 --> 00:23:29,393 What does your heart say? 550 00:23:29,428 --> 00:23:30,894 I looked deep into my heart, 551 00:23:30,929 --> 00:23:32,062 and it said... 552 00:23:32,097 --> 00:23:34,364 Uh... let me ask my wife. 553 00:23:34,399 --> 00:23:36,499 I don't care if Mr. Burns doesn't own 554 00:23:36,535 --> 00:23:40,170 the nuclear plant anymore. You still have to work there. 555 00:23:40,205 --> 00:23:42,539 You have a wife, a family, 556 00:23:42,574 --> 00:23:44,374 and a store to support. 557 00:23:44,409 --> 00:23:45,975 You're right, you're right. 558 00:23:46,010 --> 00:23:47,510 Wait. A store? 559 00:23:47,546 --> 00:23:48,844 I have a store. 560 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,212 How did that happen? 561 00:23:50,247 --> 00:23:52,013 Well, you spend enough time in the Hamptons 562 00:23:52,049 --> 00:23:54,082 and you have any flair at all, 563 00:23:54,117 --> 00:23:56,151 you just wind up with a store. 564 00:23:56,187 --> 00:23:58,987 ♪ What could possibly go wrong with retail? ♪ 565 00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:01,956 Where should we put the 19th century doctor's kits? 566 00:24:01,992 --> 00:24:05,827 Ooh, ooh! In the window next to the state-shaped erasers. 567 00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:08,829 But I feel bad leaving Mr. Burns. I'm all he's got. 568 00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:11,165 Can't we live off the money from your store? 569 00:24:11,201 --> 00:24:13,167 Oh, God, no! 570 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,670 Right now I'm still building inventory. 571 00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:17,471 Luckily, the pincushion store across the street 572 00:24:17,507 --> 00:24:19,039 went out of business. 573 00:24:19,075 --> 00:24:22,210 I just swooped right in and bought up everything. 574 00:24:22,245 --> 00:24:23,976 Okay. 575 00:24:24,012 --> 00:24:25,245 With my dear wife losing her marbles, 576 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,414 I had to turn my back on poor, broken Burns 577 00:24:27,449 --> 00:24:32,452 and go to work at, well, the sexiest nuclear plant on Earth. 578 00:24:32,487 --> 00:24:35,054 ♪ Radioactive ♪ 579 00:24:35,090 --> 00:24:36,690 ♪ R-R-R-Radioactive ♪ 580 00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:38,291 Homer Simpson? 581 00:24:38,327 --> 00:24:40,292 Boss wants to see you. 582 00:24:40,328 --> 00:24:42,228 - ♪ Booty like a power plant ♪ - WOMAN: Hey, baby. 583 00:24:42,263 --> 00:24:44,129 ♪ You're blowin' up my pants, I like the way you dance ♪ 584 00:24:44,164 --> 00:24:45,631 Mixtape coming soon, ladies. 585 00:24:45,666 --> 00:24:48,867 ♪ J-J-J-Jay's got the power! ♪ 586 00:24:52,906 --> 00:24:56,074 "Rung six. To ensure an employee's loyalty, 587 00:24:56,110 --> 00:24:59,310 you must crush their attachments to the past." 588 00:25:00,614 --> 00:25:03,080 You wanted to see me, Mr. G? 589 00:25:03,116 --> 00:25:05,550 Relax, Homer, we're good. When you entered my gates, 590 00:25:05,585 --> 00:25:08,720 I knew you'd turn your back on Old Man Burns. 591 00:25:08,755 --> 00:25:10,121 And I respect that. 592 00:25:10,156 --> 00:25:12,123 Yeah. I ditched him, all right. 593 00:25:12,158 --> 00:25:13,891 In his hour of need. 594 00:25:13,926 --> 00:25:15,125 But I feel good about it. 595 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:16,426 Really good. 596 00:25:17,730 --> 00:25:19,095 Ow! Ow! 597 00:25:19,131 --> 00:25:21,898 Oh... I missed that. 598 00:25:21,933 --> 00:25:23,900 Because I know you're so loyal to me, 599 00:25:23,935 --> 00:25:26,403 I have a very special job for you. 600 00:25:26,438 --> 00:25:28,538 Removing the last trace of Monty Burns 601 00:25:28,574 --> 00:25:30,574 from the power plant he loves. 602 00:25:44,722 --> 00:25:45,788 Don't look at me. 603 00:25:45,823 --> 00:25:47,523 Stop looking at me! 604 00:25:49,092 --> 00:25:51,393 You did good. 605 00:25:52,729 --> 00:25:54,996 Here's your reward. 606 00:25:57,100 --> 00:25:58,933 Cobbler. 607 00:25:58,968 --> 00:26:02,504 I've got a granny in Atlanta who custom bakes them just for me. 608 00:26:02,539 --> 00:26:04,839 Peach, berry, cherry, 609 00:26:04,874 --> 00:26:06,106 rhubarb, pineapple. 610 00:26:06,141 --> 00:26:08,942 You can't cobbler pineapple. 611 00:26:08,977 --> 00:26:10,511 Yet here it is. 612 00:26:12,848 --> 00:26:14,348 Homie, what's wrong? 613 00:26:14,383 --> 00:26:19,320 I've never seen such beautiful cobbler. 614 00:26:19,355 --> 00:26:22,155 But there was a hole in me that even a thousand pans 615 00:26:22,191 --> 00:26:23,790 of hot fruit couldn't fill. 616 00:26:23,825 --> 00:26:26,992 I had betrayed Mr. Burns and felt sick about it. 617 00:26:27,028 --> 00:26:29,228 Searching for an open grave in which to barf, 618 00:26:29,263 --> 00:26:31,331 I heard a horrible sound, 619 00:26:31,366 --> 00:26:33,533 which I was strangely drawn towards. 620 00:26:33,568 --> 00:26:37,169 ♪ After the ball is over ♪ 621 00:26:37,205 --> 00:26:40,205 ♪ After the break of dawn ♪ 622 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,208 ♪ After the dancers' leaving ♪ 623 00:26:43,243 --> 00:26:46,878 ♪ After the stars are gone. ♪ 624 00:26:46,913 --> 00:26:49,748 Mr. Burns, what are you doing in this death hole? 625 00:26:49,783 --> 00:26:51,883 All I have left is my family mausoleum. 626 00:26:51,918 --> 00:26:53,852 Would you like a sip of grief soup? 627 00:26:53,887 --> 00:26:56,054 I stewed it from flowers left on graves. 628 00:26:56,089 --> 00:26:58,188 I confess, I went back to work at the plant. 629 00:26:58,224 --> 00:27:00,290 Jay G seduced me with cobbler. 630 00:27:00,326 --> 00:27:03,461 But after the eighth pan, it tasted like ashes. 631 00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:05,363 Ice cream got me through three more pans, 632 00:27:05,398 --> 00:27:07,064 but after that, ashes. 633 00:27:07,099 --> 00:27:09,900 Well, now you have to decide, once and for all, 634 00:27:09,935 --> 00:27:12,570 where your allegiance lies. 635 00:27:12,605 --> 00:27:15,071 I'm not going back to that job. 636 00:27:15,106 --> 00:27:17,907 I'm gonna stay here with you and we're going to get even 637 00:27:17,942 --> 00:27:19,275 with Jay G. 638 00:27:19,310 --> 00:27:21,043 And as God is my witness, 639 00:27:21,079 --> 00:27:24,247 I will not tell my wife what I'm up to. 640 00:27:25,313 --> 00:27:26,625 Oh, that's good. 641 00:27:28,766 --> 00:27:30,132 Come on, Simpson. 642 00:27:30,157 --> 00:27:32,477 Give me more ideas to get back at Jay G. 643 00:27:32,548 --> 00:27:34,414 - Fill his office with balloons? - Too soft. 644 00:27:34,449 --> 00:27:35,968 Fill his office with scorpions? 645 00:27:35,993 --> 00:27:38,249 Eh, I'm having a fight with my scorpion guy. 646 00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:40,200 Oh, oh, oh. Banana in his tailpipe. 647 00:27:40,235 --> 00:27:41,701 I can't afford a banana! 648 00:27:42,971 --> 00:27:45,338 What's that? A spy! Grab him. 649 00:27:45,373 --> 00:27:46,739 Come here, spy. 650 00:27:46,774 --> 00:27:48,108 What are you doing here, boy? 651 00:27:48,143 --> 00:27:50,243 You're not dead. Are you? 652 00:27:50,278 --> 00:27:52,878 I followed you. I got suspicious when you came home last night 653 00:27:52,914 --> 00:27:54,481 covered in grave dirt. 654 00:27:54,516 --> 00:27:56,483 Be gone, urchin. We have work to do. 655 00:27:56,518 --> 00:27:57,882 Wait, wait! He can help. 656 00:27:57,918 --> 00:28:00,885 No one's better at nasty schemes than this kid. 657 00:28:00,921 --> 00:28:02,921 I mean, he's messed up. 658 00:28:02,956 --> 00:28:06,492 Look at him. You got to figure his family life's a disaster. 659 00:28:06,527 --> 00:28:08,393 Why should I help Burns now that he's broke? 660 00:28:08,429 --> 00:28:10,362 I've got more money than he does. 661 00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:12,431 Would the cape and gloves 662 00:28:12,466 --> 00:28:14,732 of the infamous Gaslight Strangler 663 00:28:14,767 --> 00:28:17,502 change your mind? 664 00:28:17,537 --> 00:28:19,903 If you want to take down a rapper, you got to destroy 665 00:28:19,939 --> 00:28:23,407 the thing that's most important to him: his rep. 666 00:28:23,443 --> 00:28:26,944 Rep means reputation. 667 00:28:26,979 --> 00:28:29,413 To do that, we got to go to the ultimate expert 668 00:28:29,449 --> 00:28:31,381 on urban culture. 669 00:28:31,416 --> 00:28:32,982 A white nerd. 670 00:28:33,018 --> 00:28:35,385 So, in South Central Springfield in the '90s, 671 00:28:35,420 --> 00:28:37,320 there were four major hip-hop sub-scenes. 672 00:28:37,356 --> 00:28:39,956 The Good Time Mafia, Licorice Avenue, 673 00:28:39,991 --> 00:28:42,759 The Dirty, Dirty North, and The FLTA. 674 00:28:42,794 --> 00:28:44,494 The Fine Ladies Thug Army. 675 00:28:44,530 --> 00:28:46,329 Fascinating. 676 00:28:47,866 --> 00:28:49,131 Yes, yes. But do you have anything 677 00:28:49,167 --> 00:28:52,067 we can use against my sworn enemy, Jay G? 678 00:28:52,102 --> 00:28:54,903 Before he was Jay G, he was Jeremy Gilroy, 679 00:28:54,938 --> 00:28:57,373 a founding member of The Five Boyfriends, 680 00:28:57,408 --> 00:28:58,974 a soulful RandB quintet. 681 00:28:59,009 --> 00:29:00,776 Hey, I know this guy. 682 00:29:00,811 --> 00:29:03,579 He tried to sell me a $55 candle! 683 00:29:03,614 --> 00:29:06,247 That's Jazzy James, the Lyrical Miracle. 684 00:29:06,283 --> 00:29:08,316 He wrote all of Jay's early hits. 685 00:29:08,351 --> 00:29:09,750 But they had a falling out, 686 00:29:09,786 --> 00:29:12,153 and he was never heard from again. 687 00:29:12,189 --> 00:29:14,322 Then only one man can write the rap 688 00:29:14,357 --> 00:29:17,392 that will ruin the rep of Jay G. 689 00:29:17,427 --> 00:29:18,959 Jazzy James. 690 00:29:18,995 --> 00:29:21,162 I told you this guy would come back. 691 00:29:21,198 --> 00:29:22,563 Told you. 692 00:29:22,598 --> 00:29:25,265 Yeah, I used to be Jazzy James. 693 00:29:25,301 --> 00:29:27,067 The Lyrical Miracle? 694 00:29:27,102 --> 00:29:29,002 My skills were empirical. 695 00:29:29,037 --> 00:29:32,939 I wrote all the rhymes for Jay G's first hip-hop record. 696 00:29:32,974 --> 00:29:36,610 I didn't get a dime, because I signed over all the rights. 697 00:29:36,645 --> 00:29:37,811 Why'd you do that? 698 00:29:38,847 --> 00:29:39,812 All right, all right. 699 00:29:39,847 --> 00:29:41,080 I'll sign! 700 00:29:43,484 --> 00:29:45,851 He took my money, stole my girl, 701 00:29:45,886 --> 00:29:49,855 made me get a tattoo of the baseball from Major League. 702 00:29:49,890 --> 00:29:51,624 It broke me. I fell hard, 703 00:29:51,659 --> 00:29:52,991 into scented candles. 704 00:29:54,829 --> 00:29:56,794 Quince. 705 00:29:56,830 --> 00:29:58,830 Listen, Jazzy. We're gonna tear down Jay G 706 00:29:58,865 --> 00:30:00,798 with the ultimate revenge rap. 707 00:30:00,834 --> 00:30:02,033 And you're gonna write it. 708 00:30:02,068 --> 00:30:03,868 Oh... 709 00:30:04,904 --> 00:30:06,104 I'm in. 710 00:30:06,139 --> 00:30:07,606 Excellent. 711 00:30:07,641 --> 00:30:09,341 What is... rap? 712 00:30:09,376 --> 00:30:10,342 Hmm? 713 00:30:10,377 --> 00:30:11,743 Hmm. 714 00:30:11,778 --> 00:30:13,544 Quick, boy! Hide this thing. 715 00:30:16,882 --> 00:30:20,718 Homie, it's so sweet of you to come visit me at my store. 716 00:30:20,753 --> 00:30:23,721 But aren't you gonna get in trouble for missing work? 717 00:30:23,756 --> 00:30:26,390 You let me worry about the nuclear plant. 718 00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:28,024 The important thing for you to do 719 00:30:28,060 --> 00:30:30,593 is believe I still work there. 720 00:30:30,629 --> 00:30:33,863 I can't wait to show you the changes I've made. 721 00:30:33,898 --> 00:30:36,432 We're getting a lot of foot traffic. 722 00:30:36,468 --> 00:30:38,934 Three people used the bathroom yesterday. 723 00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:40,936 How much should I charge for these handbags 724 00:30:40,972 --> 00:30:43,640 made from the speaker covers of old jukeboxes? 725 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,642 Five dollars. No, no, no, no, no. 726 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:48,109 A hundred dollars! 727 00:30:48,145 --> 00:30:50,679 It's happening. It's happening. 728 00:30:50,714 --> 00:30:53,282 I love my store! 729 00:30:53,317 --> 00:30:56,585 We're putting up new wallpaper. 730 00:30:58,955 --> 00:31:01,089 Is Mom gonna be okay? 731 00:31:01,124 --> 00:31:04,125 I don't know, son, I don't know. 732 00:31:04,161 --> 00:31:05,893 Oh, it's not her, fellas. 733 00:31:05,928 --> 00:31:08,396 It's the curse of the adorable little store. 734 00:31:08,431 --> 00:31:10,798 Didn't always used to be like this. No, no. 735 00:31:10,833 --> 00:31:13,267 Once, this land was full of actual stores, 736 00:31:13,303 --> 00:31:15,135 as far as the eye could see. 737 00:31:15,171 --> 00:31:18,172 Then the rich people came. They didn't need to make money, 738 00:31:18,207 --> 00:31:20,941 they just needed a place for their friends to wander into, 739 00:31:20,976 --> 00:31:22,975 after spin class. 740 00:31:23,011 --> 00:31:24,577 Yeah, that's progress for you. 741 00:31:24,613 --> 00:31:26,346 I suppose. 742 00:31:26,381 --> 00:31:29,349 And so, with Jazzy James on board, 743 00:31:29,384 --> 00:31:32,585 Mr. Burns set out to produce the ultimate revenge rap. 744 00:31:33,822 --> 00:31:35,087 ♪ Uh, listen up, suckers ♪ 745 00:31:35,123 --> 00:31:36,856 ♪ I'm-a say how I feel ♪ 746 00:31:36,891 --> 00:31:39,858 ♪ My dealings with Jay G have been less than... ideal. ♪ 747 00:31:39,893 --> 00:31:41,627 I... 748 00:31:41,662 --> 00:31:43,629 It's... It's no use. I've lost it. 749 00:31:43,664 --> 00:31:46,998 I need you to rap like your world is ending. 750 00:31:47,034 --> 00:31:48,900 Like you just found out that capital gains 751 00:31:48,936 --> 00:31:51,403 are going to be taxed at the same rate as ordinary income. 752 00:31:51,439 --> 00:31:53,439 I need you to put your entire soul into it. 753 00:31:53,474 --> 00:31:55,573 Now rhyme, Jazzy, rhyme! 754 00:31:55,608 --> 00:31:58,343 I got nothin'. Just take me back to my candles. 755 00:31:58,378 --> 00:31:59,744 I need my quince! 756 00:31:59,779 --> 00:32:01,612 Wait, I have another idea. 757 00:32:01,648 --> 00:32:02,747 I'm feelin' it! 758 00:32:02,782 --> 00:32:04,248 I'm feelin' it! 759 00:32:04,283 --> 00:32:05,750 Now, almost drop me. 760 00:32:05,785 --> 00:32:07,618 Why does this work? 761 00:32:07,654 --> 00:32:09,320 ♪ ♪ 762 00:32:09,356 --> 00:32:10,822 ♪ Jay, you're a rhyme thief ♪ 763 00:32:10,857 --> 00:32:12,456 ♪ A hip-hop perjurer ♪ 764 00:32:12,491 --> 00:32:14,157 ♪ If my words were beef patties ♪ 765 00:32:14,192 --> 00:32:15,692 ♪ You'd be the Hamburglar ♪ 766 00:32:15,728 --> 00:32:17,394 ♪ My beats are the freshest ♪ 767 00:32:17,429 --> 00:32:18,862 ♪ My beats are the freshest ♪ 768 00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:20,664 ♪ You reached out and stole 'em ♪ 769 00:32:20,699 --> 00:32:22,198 ♪ Like Gollum did precious ♪ 770 00:32:22,234 --> 00:32:24,234 ♪ Time for the truth to be paid off ♪ 771 00:32:24,269 --> 00:32:26,002 ♪ You're a lyrical Madoff ♪ 772 00:32:26,037 --> 00:32:27,738 ♪ So if you want to go to war, brah ♪ 773 00:32:27,773 --> 00:32:29,339 ♪ Hit me up and I'll write the rap for ya. ♪ 774 00:32:29,374 --> 00:32:30,339 Yeah! 775 00:32:30,375 --> 00:32:31,340 Whoa, it rhymed! 776 00:32:32,910 --> 00:32:34,209 Now that's what I call 777 00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:35,978 a corking revenge rap. 778 00:32:36,013 --> 00:32:38,481 If anyone's hungry, we've set up a deli platter 779 00:32:38,516 --> 00:32:39,482 in the lobby. 780 00:32:39,517 --> 00:32:40,549 I'm hungry! 781 00:32:40,585 --> 00:32:42,050 For gettin' what's mine. 782 00:32:45,089 --> 00:32:48,390 Oh. Ain't no deli platter ordered for a recording session 783 00:32:48,425 --> 00:32:50,726 that Praline doesn't hear about. Mm-mm. 784 00:32:50,751 --> 00:32:52,551 Praline? She's Jay G's ex-wife. 785 00:32:52,764 --> 00:32:54,163 I thought you were in prison. 786 00:32:54,188 --> 00:32:55,954 That's what the guards said, 787 00:32:56,086 --> 00:32:57,687 but I wasn't having that. 788 00:32:58,769 --> 00:32:59,901 Oh, we duckin' now? 789 00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:01,335 So that's how it is? 790 00:33:01,371 --> 00:33:02,637 I see. 791 00:33:02,672 --> 00:33:03,637 Oh, no, he didn't. 792 00:33:03,672 --> 00:33:04,738 No, he did not. 793 00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:06,206 - Shut up, Miata. - Oh. 794 00:33:06,241 --> 00:33:07,841 Put that rare roast beef in a baggie. 795 00:33:07,877 --> 00:33:09,075 Mm-hmm, that one. 796 00:33:09,111 --> 00:33:12,746 So, Praline, are you with us or against us? 797 00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:15,181 Jay G took everything from me. 798 00:33:15,217 --> 00:33:19,386 You best believe I'm going to take everything from him. 799 00:33:19,422 --> 00:33:20,686 Get the ham! 800 00:33:20,722 --> 00:33:22,121 We're really glad to have you. 801 00:33:22,156 --> 00:33:23,122 Thanks for your help. 802 00:33:23,157 --> 00:33:24,424 Who you thankin'? 803 00:33:24,459 --> 00:33:26,426 I'm not doing this for you, boo boo kitty. 804 00:33:26,461 --> 00:33:27,927 With an angry ex-wife on our team, 805 00:33:27,962 --> 00:33:29,562 we were unstoppable. 806 00:33:29,597 --> 00:33:31,431 Praline brought in an all-star lineup 807 00:33:31,466 --> 00:33:33,365 of Jay G's enemies to lend their hatred 808 00:33:33,401 --> 00:33:35,902 to the world's greatest diss rap. 809 00:33:35,937 --> 00:33:39,905 RZA, Snoop and Common. 810 00:33:40,974 --> 00:33:44,443 ♪ Yo, I want to back-smack Jay G, son ♪ 811 00:33:44,478 --> 00:33:46,778 ♪ He took that name Tang Clan from me ♪ 812 00:33:46,814 --> 00:33:49,448 ♪ And since there couldn't be two ♪ 813 00:33:49,483 --> 00:33:51,883 ♪ I had to change my Tang Clan to Wu ♪ 814 00:33:51,919 --> 00:33:54,752 ♪ I seen Jay G pimp, lie and rob ♪ 815 00:33:54,787 --> 00:33:57,354 ♪ Took my handyman off a job ♪ 816 00:33:57,389 --> 00:33:58,689 ♪ And when I complained ♪ 817 00:33:58,724 --> 00:34:00,524 ♪ All he did was laugh ♪ 818 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,561 ♪ Now I got half a gazebo, and not even the good half ♪ 819 00:34:03,596 --> 00:34:05,763 ♪ I would never wish hate on my brother ♪ 820 00:34:05,798 --> 00:34:08,365 ♪ 'Cause we're all from the same celestial mother ♪ 821 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,935 Wait, I just remembered Jay crashed my Jet Ski. 822 00:34:10,970 --> 00:34:13,803 I hope he get food poisoning from nachos. Peace! 823 00:34:13,839 --> 00:34:15,404 Yo, Common, that was tight. 824 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:16,973 Respect, 'House. 825 00:34:18,643 --> 00:34:21,478 Oh, when this track drops, some feelings gonna get hurt. 826 00:34:21,513 --> 00:34:22,979 Obliverated. 827 00:34:23,014 --> 00:34:26,382 Indeed. I just wish Smithers and his ice were here 828 00:34:26,417 --> 00:34:27,917 to witness my revenge. 829 00:34:27,953 --> 00:34:29,985 Fight, fight, fight. 830 00:34:42,533 --> 00:34:43,765 Prepare for 831 00:34:43,801 --> 00:34:45,500 the turning of the worms. 832 00:34:45,535 --> 00:34:46,801 No offense, worms. 833 00:34:46,836 --> 00:34:51,171 I now drop "Choke on Diss," aka "Rhyme Crime," 834 00:34:51,207 --> 00:34:54,942 by Hate Squad, featuring the Rhyme Crime All-Stars. 835 00:34:57,179 --> 00:34:58,779 Why isn't it dropping? 836 00:34:58,815 --> 00:35:00,548 Release the sounds! 837 00:35:01,410 --> 00:35:02,242 Damn! 838 00:35:03,451 --> 00:35:06,285 Sorry to crash your party as a hologram, M.B., 839 00:35:06,321 --> 00:35:08,755 but I'm having a little celebration of my own. 840 00:35:08,790 --> 00:35:10,356 I just bought the master recording 841 00:35:10,392 --> 00:35:12,826 of your so-called diss rap. 842 00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:13,793 Ha, no way. 843 00:35:13,829 --> 00:35:15,461 Jazzy James and Hate Squad, 844 00:35:15,497 --> 00:35:17,330 featuring the Rhyme Crime All-Stars hate you! 845 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,832 They'd never sell out. 846 00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:19,999 They would... 847 00:35:20,034 --> 00:35:22,167 for money! 848 00:35:22,202 --> 00:35:23,435 Sorry, Monty. 849 00:35:23,470 --> 00:35:25,270 Jay G is the best producer in the world 850 00:35:25,305 --> 00:35:28,674 and you're a tone-deaf pauper who lives in a grave. 851 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:29,675 Ouch. 852 00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:32,044 I thought I hated him, but now I don't. 853 00:35:32,079 --> 00:35:33,846 So now I'm here. 854 00:35:33,881 --> 00:35:36,015 If you can't handle a strong female hologram, 855 00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:37,248 that's on you. 856 00:35:37,283 --> 00:35:39,851 Jay G and D-O-double-G. 857 00:35:39,886 --> 00:35:40,985 We flipped the script. 858 00:35:41,021 --> 00:35:43,021 This ultimate betrayal 859 00:35:43,056 --> 00:35:44,889 is part of your spiritual journey. 860 00:35:44,925 --> 00:35:46,925 Lesson one: protect your neck. 861 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,861 Say good-bye to your revenge rap forever. 862 00:35:49,896 --> 00:35:51,495 'Cause it's about to drop. 863 00:35:53,399 --> 00:35:55,098 Mmm. 864 00:35:55,133 --> 00:35:57,000 Party at the power plant, y'all. 865 00:35:59,838 --> 00:36:02,005 I swear on the squid beak of Lord Cthulhu 866 00:36:02,041 --> 00:36:03,807 and all his briny shoggoths, 867 00:36:03,842 --> 00:36:06,309 I will get revenge on you, Jay G. 868 00:36:06,344 --> 00:36:08,411 And so Mr. Burns beat on, 869 00:36:08,447 --> 00:36:10,243 fists against the hologram, 870 00:36:10,268 --> 00:36:13,602 punching back ceaselessly into his own face. 871 00:36:16,611 --> 00:36:18,469 Which new name do you like better? 872 00:36:18,494 --> 00:36:20,180 Next Doorables... 873 00:36:20,205 --> 00:36:22,587 or the Lavender Zeppelin? 874 00:36:22,658 --> 00:36:24,457 I just don't know anymore. 875 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,027 A customer! 876 00:36:27,062 --> 00:36:28,729 Oh, it's you. 877 00:36:28,764 --> 00:36:30,030 Baby, I'm sorry. 878 00:36:30,065 --> 00:36:31,932 I stayed loyal to Mr. Burns, 879 00:36:31,967 --> 00:36:34,034 coproduced a failed revenge rap, 880 00:36:34,069 --> 00:36:35,468 and now we've got nothing. 881 00:36:36,839 --> 00:36:39,439 I know it's crazy, but he needed me. 882 00:36:39,474 --> 00:36:41,273 Oh, it's okay, Homie. 883 00:36:41,308 --> 00:36:42,908 You're not mad? 884 00:36:42,944 --> 00:36:45,778 Your heart told you to stick with Mr. Burns, 885 00:36:45,813 --> 00:36:47,780 and the thing I love about you most 886 00:36:47,815 --> 00:36:50,950 is you've got a heart as big as The Ritz. 887 00:36:50,985 --> 00:36:54,453 Wow, Mom, you just made an F. Scott Fitzgerald reference. 888 00:36:54,488 --> 00:36:57,922 Lisa, please, I did graduate high school. 889 00:37:06,099 --> 00:37:10,969 I've just hatched a plan for the most delicious revenge. 890 00:37:11,004 --> 00:37:12,737 Simpson, we must away. 891 00:37:12,773 --> 00:37:14,104 Did you want to buy that? 892 00:37:14,140 --> 00:37:15,773 Just looking. 893 00:37:15,808 --> 00:37:17,775 We can't afford the store anymore! 894 00:37:17,810 --> 00:37:19,143 Oh, thank God. 895 00:37:19,178 --> 00:37:21,011 Ha! I'm free! 896 00:37:23,215 --> 00:37:25,816 Well, before long, another aimless soul 897 00:37:25,851 --> 00:37:28,118 will open another adorable store here. 898 00:37:28,154 --> 00:37:31,520 And when they do, Old Sam the Sign Hanger 899 00:37:31,555 --> 00:37:34,690 will be ready, with his level and his ladder. 900 00:37:34,725 --> 00:37:36,959 Oh, why, here comes one now. 901 00:37:36,995 --> 00:37:39,095 Oh, honey, isn't it darling? 902 00:37:39,130 --> 00:37:40,096 Huh? 903 00:37:40,131 --> 00:37:42,131 We finally found the Bookmark Barn. 904 00:37:42,167 --> 00:37:44,733 Oh, this is Wicker Works. 905 00:37:44,769 --> 00:37:47,003 We're gonna sell so many Yorkie sweaters. 906 00:37:47,038 --> 00:37:49,905 We can use the contractor that did Karen's store. 907 00:37:49,940 --> 00:37:52,240 Mr. Burns' plan was so horrifying, 908 00:37:52,276 --> 00:37:55,177 I could barely shut up and go along with it. 909 00:37:55,212 --> 00:37:57,179 But I was the only friend he had left in the world 910 00:37:57,214 --> 00:37:59,181 and he was whipping me so hard. 911 00:37:59,216 --> 00:38:01,616 Ow, ow! 912 00:38:01,651 --> 00:38:03,985 Oh, Goosius. 913 00:38:04,021 --> 00:38:06,653 Daddy's got your oatmeal. 914 00:38:06,689 --> 00:38:10,057 Golden raisins, just the way you like 'em, baby. 915 00:38:15,298 --> 00:38:18,065 Goosey! 916 00:38:20,036 --> 00:38:22,368 Where's my goose? 917 00:38:22,403 --> 00:38:24,637 Why, he's right here. 918 00:38:24,672 --> 00:38:27,540 Fancy a bite of roast Goosius? 919 00:38:31,079 --> 00:38:32,411 You didn't! 920 00:38:32,447 --> 00:38:34,513 Oh, I did. 921 00:38:34,549 --> 00:38:37,183 Mmm. A trifle fatty, but other than that, 922 00:38:37,219 --> 00:38:38,751 excellent. 923 00:38:38,786 --> 00:38:41,653 Damn, I didn't think you had it in you, M.B. 924 00:38:41,688 --> 00:38:43,989 Oh, man. 925 00:38:44,024 --> 00:38:45,657 I don't want to live in a world 926 00:38:45,692 --> 00:38:49,094 without the mascot of my multinational empire. 927 00:38:52,933 --> 00:38:54,233 Stop it! 928 00:38:54,268 --> 00:38:56,234 I saved your life, you stupid duck! 929 00:38:56,269 --> 00:38:59,636 Simpson, I told you to cook his goose. 930 00:38:59,672 --> 00:39:00,872 I couldn't do it. 931 00:39:00,907 --> 00:39:02,173 We just had our portrait done. 932 00:39:04,077 --> 00:39:05,910 Then, what did I eat? 933 00:39:05,945 --> 00:39:07,979 Roast goose from the gas station. 934 00:39:08,014 --> 00:39:10,047 Fine, then I'll kill it myself. 935 00:39:12,118 --> 00:39:14,684 The two rivals found themselves doomed by the lusts 936 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:16,753 that drive all men... money, power, 937 00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:19,689 and the pursuit of a goose. 938 00:39:24,596 --> 00:39:27,697 Damn it, Monty, I don't want to die. 939 00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:29,299 Well, if we have to end this way, 940 00:39:29,334 --> 00:39:31,233 at least it's of natural causes. 941 00:39:31,269 --> 00:39:33,702 A business deal gone wrong. 942 00:39:36,974 --> 00:39:38,073 Tell me, Jay. 943 00:39:38,109 --> 00:39:39,308 Why'd you betray me? 944 00:39:39,343 --> 00:39:40,943 We were kindred souls. 945 00:39:40,978 --> 00:39:42,311 Brothers in avarice. 946 00:39:42,346 --> 00:39:45,314 Why? Because you told me to! 947 00:39:45,349 --> 00:39:47,315 In your own last chapter. 948 00:39:50,486 --> 00:39:52,954 "You will never be truly ruthless 949 00:39:52,989 --> 00:39:55,089 until you destroy the one who made you." 950 00:39:55,125 --> 00:39:57,191 I had to tear you down, M.B.! 951 00:39:57,227 --> 00:39:59,860 It was the final rung. 952 00:40:03,733 --> 00:40:05,698 I just wanted to be ruthless, 953 00:40:05,734 --> 00:40:07,134 like you. 954 00:40:12,041 --> 00:40:15,175 That I inspired you to such pure and evil greed, 955 00:40:15,210 --> 00:40:17,044 that is my greatest triumph. 956 00:40:17,079 --> 00:40:19,146 I am truly immortal. 957 00:40:19,181 --> 00:40:20,814 We're about to die, fool. 958 00:40:30,191 --> 00:40:33,525 Smithers, I ordered ice, not slush. 959 00:40:33,561 --> 00:40:35,161 Sorry I'm late, sir. 960 00:40:35,196 --> 00:40:36,329 A few of these French Canadian bikers 961 00:40:36,364 --> 00:40:37,729 got delayed at the border. 962 00:40:37,765 --> 00:40:40,165 Apparently, I'm their leader now. 963 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,201 Smithers, Smithers, Smithers! 964 00:40:45,538 --> 00:40:47,172 Ow. That stings. 965 00:40:47,207 --> 00:40:48,906 Oh, that one's nice. 966 00:40:48,942 --> 00:40:50,508 How dare you. 967 00:40:50,543 --> 00:40:51,843 Fascinating. 968 00:40:51,878 --> 00:40:53,011 Excellent. 969 00:40:53,046 --> 00:40:54,879 Mr. Burns realized 970 00:40:54,914 --> 00:40:56,513 that his ruthless will to power 971 00:40:56,548 --> 00:41:00,250 would beat on forever in another man's heart. 972 00:41:03,022 --> 00:41:05,822 Ah, I guess this summer's really over. 973 00:41:05,858 --> 00:41:09,860 I'm gonna miss Goosius. 974 00:41:09,895 --> 00:41:11,862 Aah! 975 00:41:11,897 --> 00:41:13,396 Thanks, boy. 976 00:41:13,431 --> 00:41:15,898 Do you think Mr. Burns learned anything from all this? 977 00:41:15,933 --> 00:41:17,900 Could it have changed him for the better? 978 00:41:17,935 --> 00:41:19,202 You know what? 979 00:41:19,237 --> 00:41:21,304 I have a feeling it did. 980 00:41:22,907 --> 00:41:24,340 Attention. 981 00:41:24,376 --> 00:41:26,075 For the sheer joy of it, 982 00:41:26,111 --> 00:41:29,577 every day will now include a moment of musical appreciation. 983 00:41:29,613 --> 00:41:31,946 Yeah! ♪ Music makes the whole world ♪ 984 00:41:31,982 --> 00:41:33,948 ♪ Whole world ♪ 985 00:41:33,984 --> 00:41:37,085 Mm, let's not do this tomorrow. 986 00:41:37,121 --> 00:41:39,888 ♪ Oh ♪ 987 00:41:39,923 --> 00:41:42,457 ♪ Go round, hey ♪ 988 00:41:42,493 --> 00:41:45,060 ♪ Ah-ah-ha. ♪ 989 00:41:45,119 --> 00:41:49,491 - sync and corrections by Mr.C - - www.addic7ed.com - 990 00:42:25,132 --> 00:42:26,331 Shh!